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Fro
Dad, coach, fan of eating food.

Age 35, Male

Dad

New Of Grounds

Grounds of New

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Fro's going Pro

Posted by Fro - September 17th, 2019


You 

Are 

My 

Sunshine

My 

only 

sunshine


The sun was hot that day. Not a cloud in sight and nothing to stop its relentless barrage of heat and beautiful radiance. I remember complaining about the heat. We didn’t have an air conditioner where we lived. The windows in our apartment weren’t built to properly hold an air conditioner. Even if they had been permitted, we wouldn’t have been able to afford one anyway.


So here we were, forced to suffer through the treacherous summer heat. Only relieved temporarily by the passing breeze produced by an oscillating fan. For one brief moment I was blessed with a breath of flowing air, just to have it ripped away moments later as the heat and humidity violently slammed the front of my face. There were more faces to cool than just mine, though, so I suffered through for the greater good. Our new baby.


What I wouldn’t give now to have the sun kiss my skin again. I can’t remember the last time that I saw the sun. There is heat though, that never left. If my surroundings aren’t on fire it is because they have already incinerated. Some structures still stand. Somehow managing to escape the fire’s destructive path, if even just for the moment. I slump down the street. There is nobody in sight, and definitely nothing to take away the pain from the on growing blaze.

 

You make me 

happy

When 

skies 

are 

gray


“Jeez, it wouldn’t hurt to get some rain. Not a cloud is sight.”


My complaint was ignored by my significant other. I wasn’t really expecting a response. I just needed to express my discomfort. Something about hoping that if it was verbalized there would be some sort of miracle. Perhaps the clouds would come rolling in, the skies would open up, and the rains could clear some of this heat. No miracles today, just the one in front of us.


She held onto our baby tightly. Neither seemed to mind the heat as long as they were in each other’s presence. Such a quiet and calm baby. Chances were she’d grow up to give us headaches, but as of now she slept through the night, and only cooed happily. It seems like the only time that I had heard her cry was when she was first born. It was a beautiful sound. I cried. Now, she didn’t cry, but I realized how lucky we were. It allowed us to sleep. It allowed this amazingly beautiful transition in our lives to just be that much easier knowing that we could make it through a full night’s sleep.

Now the skies are only gray. I’m actually not sure if gray is the best way to describe them. Everything has a rusty red tint. A filter you’d imagine in a cheap Sci-Fi movie to help represent a run down, dangerous, and dirty post-apocalyptic climate. It’s completely surreal. But, sometimes it’s almost beautiful. In a dark and twisted way.


As we used to receive rain, we now endure a quiet black ash. My body is completely covered in ash. I imagine the photos of dark lungs that they used to show us in grade school health class to deter us from smoking. I imagine my lungs must look like that after weeks of breathing this air. Nevermind the fact that I always steered clear of cigarettes. I couldn’t stand the aftertaste of the nicotine on my tongue. 


Weeks…? Has it been weeks? Or maybe months? Surely it hasn’t been longer? Has it..?


At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter how long it has been. I can think of nothing to make me happy while these sky’s are gray.


Well… I could think of one thing that’d make me happy…

 

You’ll 

never 

know, 

dear

How much

love 

You

Please 

don’t 

take 

my 

Sun

Shine

away


I was tired, very tired. We all were, but it was all worth it.


“We’re going to do great. You’re going to make a great mom. You already are a great mom.”


She knew, but it still sounded nice to hear it. We put the baby back into her crib. Sound asleep. I didn’t think there was any chance that anyone had felt love in the overflowing way that I loved my daughter. We took advantage of the

downtime to grab some lunch. “When’s the last time I ate?” I thought to myself. Luckily some friends had precooked us some meals to make our first week at home with our new family member an easier transition. I grabbed the closest dish, a tuna noodle casserole, and scooped two liberal servings into both of our bowls.


She had the patience to warm hers up. I didn’t. I took my serving cold, sprinkled with salt and pepper. There was no time for such luxuries as warming up my meal. I wanted it then and there and would sacrifice the warmth of my food to have it even just a few moments sooner. I devoured it like a wild animal. I’m not sure if I even enjoyed it.


She waited. She knew the value of slowing down and enjoying the simple things in life. One of the many reasons that I loved her so much. She was the ying to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, the meatball to my spaghetti. All of those things are things in themselves, but made much better with the presence of the other. She completed me.


The sound of the microwave sounded as I looked down at my empty bowl. I was saddened that my food was gone. She hadn’t even taken a bite of hers yet.


Crassshhhh! The sound of splintered glass surprised both of us. It was coming from the nursery.


The sound drew my attention. It isn’t uncommon to hear noises as the buildings burn and crumbled around me. I never think much of them, but always mindlessly investigate them nonetheless. There is something organic about the sound this time though. Maybe… just maybe…


NO definitely…!” I know that sound very well. My child hardly cried, but ever since her first cries brought me to tears I became well acquainted to the sound of a child’s cry.


Even though my legs were weary, they moved with vigor. Even though my energy low, my heart was raising. Even though my head was cloudy, the thoughts traveled at the speed of light. Without any choice my body flung into action. I had to find the source of that cry.


It was muffled through walls and distance, but as instincts took over completely my body moved in the right direction.

A shadow in an upstairs window. That must be it.


I’ll always love you

And be there for you

I’ll protect you from harm’s way


I burst into the room, almost taking the nursery door off of it’s hinges. A shadowy figure was moving fast towards the crib. No thoughts, just reaction. I took down the intruder with a shoulder tackle. Pinning it down to the ground by the throat.

It clawed at my face with fury. Large shards of glass stuck in the creatures face, blood dripped down from its face and covered its entire body. It was of average build, but in a complete insane rage it was starting to over power me. The baby screamed in fear. I had to protect her. I slammed the back of its head into the ground, but it continued to claw undeterred. I went in for another slam, but pulled it too close to my body. One of his swipes made a connection with my eye and I was thrown back in pain.


In mere moments the intruder was on top of me. My vision was blurred and my face felt wet. I realized it was my own blood. I covered my face, but instead of being met with another attack there was a solid wet and metallic thud. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my arm. It cleared my vision just enough. I saw her standing by my side, silent, shaking with fear. In her arms she held a fire extinguisher. To my feet lay the crippled body of my attacker. The baby continued to scream intensely. 


“Get the baby…”, I managed to command.


“Wh.. What?”


“The baby! Get the baby!”


----------


The baby.. I needed to get to this baby. I had made my way through the building and followed the source of the cry to an upstairs room. All that separated me from the child was a single locked door. My shoulder met the door over and over. The pain was incredible, but I knew there was no way that a door would be able to stop. Every time the baby screamed it seemed to renew my vigor. I struck the door again. A disgusting and wet crack echoed in my ears. It was a combination of the door starting to give way and my shoulder shattering. It didn’t matter. I ignored the pain and continued on the door. A few more strikes and the door finally gave in.


Straight ahead a baby wrapped in a blanket against the far wall of the room and intense crying.

“Please, please keep this child safe.”


I took a few steps towards the baby, but was met with a blunt strike to my head. I hit the ground, vision blurred. A shadow hovering over and closing in on the babies location. My head felt wet and my eyes felt heavy. This was the end.

 

‘Cause I adore you

You’re my dream come true

You’re my beautiful sunshine


I stood up. She was holding and calming our daughter. My vision started to blur again. I needed to wipe the blood from my face, but couldn’t move my arm. The scene in front of me turned gray.


You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me 

Happy

When 

skies 

are 

 grey


It wasn’t the end. I managed to stand up despite the immense pain. My vision was blurred. Whoever had struck me should have made sure I was dead. I lunged forward, grabbing them by the back of their neck. I grabbed hard with the intent to kill.


“Please.. please protect this baby. Please!”


I slammed the front of their face against the wall. Repeatedly. There was no way I was going to repeat the same mistake as they had made. I wouldn’t stop until they were dead. When I felt the last amount of life leave their body, I let them drop to the ground. I turned to the crying child, lifting it from the ground. Today wasn't the end. Not for me. I was forced to suffer through this yet again.

 

You’ll never know dear

How much I love you

 

I had no clue what came over me. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t. My hands were around my spouse’s throat. I tried to call out, but no words materialized. I tried to cry, but I could only manage screams of rage instead. I was killing her. The love of my life. And I couldn’t stop myself.


I wanted to say I was sorry. I wanted to tell her that this wasn’t me. I wanted to die here and now. I pleaded internally for her to strike me back, to fight me off, to protect our child. There was no hope. She looked at me with confusion and terror. This is how she died. By my hands. I had watched the whole thing with no control. I turned to the crib and tried to block out what was about to happen. I tried to run away, tried to close my eyes, whatever I could do, but instead I picked up my daughter. I mustered one more quick prayer, but already I knew it was too late.

 

 

Please don’t take my sunshine away.


9

Comments

Fuck yeah, man! Get it! This can be done!

Even if not, I'm building up enough strength to maybe compete in some lifting competitions. Even if I don't place, I can compete against my own personal records.

lemme get pics of you in uniform

Will do.